••••••• INSPIRATIONAL THOUGHTS •••••••

Reluctant Obedience

Suggested reading: Luke 5:1-10

“Simon answered, ‘Master, we've worked hard all night and haven't caught anything. But because you say so, I will let down the nets.’” - Luke 5:5

I must confess that as I drove into the mountains headed towards Estes Park I did not have the best attitude. In fact, my attitude was really lousy. A year ago, I was asked to serve on the planning team of the National Youth Gathering so I really had to go, but I didn’t want to be there. Not for nine days.

Part of my struggle was that I felt like I didn’t know where I fit. For whatever reason, I felt “disconnected” from the planning process. I did my work, but at the end of the day, I had little passion or “buy in.” I didn’t feel like my gifts and talents were being utilized. I didn’t feel that I added anything significant to the event.

Another part of the struggle was simple fatigue. I had just finished a week with the Front Range Camp. It was a great week, but I was still tired. I didn’t get the mandatory day of rest and sleep after camp, so my fuel tank was low.

The final piece is that I had too many things to do. Most of this was due to my own procrastination and poor time management. I have a class that begins on Monday and I am still finishing the paper and reading the last few books for the class.

One of my roles was to lead an Adult Bible Study. The first lesson was Simon Peter’s encounter with Jesus by the lake. He was tired from fishing. He had important things to do before he could go get some rest. He needed to clean the equipment and mend the nets. He was frustrated because the night of fishing did not go well and there were no fish to eat, much less sell. In the midst of this, a preacher first asks to borrow his boat to use as a pulpit, and then wants to go fishing.

I hear my own tone of voice in Simon’s words. “We just came in from fishing, we are tired, we didn’t catch any fish, but if you insist, we will go back out.” Not exactly an exuberant response. More like the teenager who goes to clean his room only when threatened with a dire consequence like the loss of TV or computer privileges.

The next thing Simon knew, he was afraid that the boat was going to sink. They had dropped their nets where this preacher suggested and the nets were overflowing with fish.

Back to my own reluctant obedience, I sat down for breakfast the first morning of the conference (three days after I had arrived to help with the preparation.) My attitude was still poor. (Many adjectives could be added to “poor.” I will let you fill them in yourself.) At the table, I heard the story of one of the youth attending the conference. He was the only one who had come to More than a Week; he had no pastor or youth leader. He shared that he had just received a call from home. It was one of those calls that tear you in half emotionally. You know you need to get home because you need to be with someone you love, but you have no way of getting there. Throughout the week, many people lifted this young man up in prayer without knowing the details of the call, just as I encourage you to do. A member of the planning staff came alongside him and became his “pastor” for the week. God showed up as this young man struggled in the deep waters of life.

The evening before, I had a conversation with a friend who was contemplating both her 50th birthday and a call to ministry and what that would look like. We talked for some time about the gifts I saw in her life and I encouraged her to boldly go forward in following the small quiet voice. God showed up in her life.

It dawned on me, that God showed up for me as well. He came to me in a book by Alan Nelson, Spirituality and Worship. He came to me in my study group. He came to me in doing small acts of service for others. He came to me sitting in an airport having a conversation with one of the guest speakers as we had coffee while waiting on the next person to arrive before heading back to Estes Park. He came to me in the quiet afternoon rain. I found rest in the late night runs to the airport and the long days. I had time away to pray, think and be present before God in ways that are often difficult for me.

As I reflect on this event, I wonder how many of our lay leaders go to church on Sunday morning with similarly poor attitudes. How many know that they have a “job” to do, but it doesn’t fit their gifts and passions?

I know that many of our pastors enter each Sunday with a low tank. The emotional demands of the week have drained them. Pastors are also notorious for encouraging others to take a Sabbath and never quite getting a day of rest and renewal in for themselves. I fear that too many pastors are frustrated, bored, passionless, and even depressed.

Prayer: Lord, I know that I should want to go out to the deep waters with you. Too often, I convince myself that I am already there when in reality I am still in the “kiddy pool.” Thank you for using my reluctant obedience and blessing it. Thank you for using me in spite of my low expectations and lack of passion. Thank you for the refreshing drink of water that I needed so desperately. Lord, for those other pilgrims who need this drink, I pray that you interrupt their lives and invite them to deeper waters this week.

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